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All singles who profess Christ and aspire to marriage — even as a possibility — have this responsibility (even outside this area of life, we should all be trying to grow in Christ). If you're already sure of that basic answer, are you a growing and mature Christian?Are you generally humble and teachable, and do you respect authority?This involves judging a potential guy or girl for the 38 qualities you are looking for in an ideal mate—before even grabbing coffee together. Sometimes the “hanging out” leads to hooking up, sans dating, which is another uber-confusing side effect of the Faux Christian Dating cycle. What if Christians just began to date like normal people—not dating toward immediate marriage and not eschewing dating for the less-desirable “hanging out” no man’s land?It’s like arranged marriages where no one is making the arrangements, and it doesn’t seem to work very well. Here’s what I think it would require: Stop evaluating whether the guy who’s taken an interest in you is strong and tenderhearted enough to raise your future kids.

This assumes that the Bible’s warning about doing this is really nothing to take that seriously.

As my friend Lindsey, married and in her thirties, recently remarked, “I’m sure glad I wasn’t much of a Christian when I started dating my husband!

” Whether over coffee in my kitchen or on the hallowed ground of women’s small groups, I hear these murmurs constantly.

We have hundreds of examples; one might be that the rainbow used to be a symbol of God’s wrath on a decadent society, and another of course would be The Devil himself – once feared by believers and even non-believers alike – but nowdays is consigned along with the Bible and Jesus resurrection to ‘myth’ status and cartoonised as a little man in red pants and a pitch fork.

So wherever possible we need to keep hold of our words and treasure their original meanings.

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