Emotional effects of dating a married man

“Everybody understands a sexual act need not necessarily contain affection or intimacy. Whereas the emotional affair feels like it’s much more about being connected, about loving or liking.” These affairs can be hard to stop, Saltz says.

But to give your marriage a chance, “you just have to end it. It’s too slippery a slope.” If it’s someone you can’t avoid, have a direct conversation. Your next step: Figure out what led you to make the connection with this other person, says psychologist Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph D, author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful.

His family will always come first, and that includes his wife. The beginning of an affair is romantic and naughty at the same time.

There are just too many disappointments, disadvantages and even dangers that threat women who pursue such a course of action.

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There was no way I could keep that dating fire burning as practicality invaded our lives. Something I haven’t wanted to admit for a long time, but is undeniable.

Often, people who become involved in emotional affairs feel something is lacking at home.

“It makes them feel good to feel understood, to feel desired. You go home and have your vegetables, and you go to work and you have candy.” For some spouses -- more often women, Saltz says -- learning of an emotional affair can be worse than discovering sexual infidelity.

She is alone most of the time and spends it waiting: waiting for her married lover to call, to come meet her, to share some precious time together.

She is not his wife, she is not mother to his children, she is not his parents' daughter-in-law.

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